1995 Willow Oaks Player Profiles
Detailed match play records
Bob Mizell (5.6)
Mizell was a Co-MVP in his first River Cup outing in 1991, but the lure of easy endorsement money caused his game to fall off dramatically shortly thereafter. Bob has played his way on to a talented Willow Oaks squad this year. Commenting on his selection of Mizell for this year's squad, Captain Moss explains, "Bob was a very valuable member of our team in the past and I believe that last year's squad missed his leadership." When informed of Captain Moss' comments, Bob replied, "Who's this Moss guy? I thought that Sinclair was just calling me because he couldn't find anybody else to play with."
Wen Andrews (6.0)
Wen is well known around Willow Oaks for his constant presence on the driving range. He spends more time on the range than Brad Smallwood, who has a condo there. Wen was once asked by a friend how he liked the Willow Oaks golf course, to which he replied "There's a golf course at Willow Oaks?" His golf balls are easily identified by the prominent red stripe around the circumference.
Chuck Ditsler (6.5)
Chuck has his secretary well trained. She has standing orders to respond to all callers with "No, I'm sorry, Mr. Ditsler is not in today. He is out in the field. May I take a message?" The field is suspiciously close to the first tee at Willow Oaks.
Dennis Ryan (6.8)
Dennis owes a great deal of his success on the golf course to graphite. Not shafts - pencils. "I always excelled in creative writing at Notre Dame and it just seemed natural to carry my love of fiction onto the golf course," Dennis unabashedly proclaims. Dennis seems more likely to win a Pulitzer Prize than a club championship.
Paul Strauss (6.8)
Strauss is known around Willow Oaks as "Pipeline Paul" for his uncanny ability to hit every shot down the middle. A rookie on this year's squad, Paul is looking forward to his first River Cup outing. "I've played in a lot of tournaments," says Paul, "but none as meaningful as the River Cup." After the competition is over, the Willow Oaks team will help Paul get a life.
Scott Warren (7.8)
Scott is normally one of the few bright spots for the Willow Oaks side, but this year he may have peaked too early. Consecutive rounds of 77 and 78 in this year's club championship catapulted Scott to the second flight championship. "I have nothing left to accomplish in golf," Scott said recently while enjoying a Macanudo, "but I do hope I get to play Brother Scott in singles again this year. What a cream-puff."
Paul Sinclair (8.5)
Known derisively at Willow Oaks as "the Commish", Paul has displayed flashes of brilliance this past year. These flashes are seldom associated with his golf game. Sinclair's receding hairline is an asset on a sunny day. "I can take off my hat and blind the opposition with the glare when the need arises," Paul declares.
Tom McCandlish (8.9)
Tom missed last year's River Cup in an ill advised attempt to qualify for the Asian Tour. "I loved Hong Kong," offers Tom, "but I really missed the top-notch quality of golf found only in the River Cup." The only change in Tom's game since his return from the Asian Q-School is his constant request that the Willow Oaks' snack bar serve sushi.
Eddie Eddins (9.5)
According to Eddie, there is no truth to the rumor that Bernhard Langer (sometimes known as Captain Yip) taught him to putt. Eddie's unique cross-handed, outside in putting stab confounds his opposition. The last time an opponent was naive enough to concede a putt to Eddie, Reagan was in the White House.
Kent Puryear (10.1)
Kent doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" on the golf course. Unfortunately, he also does not know the meaning of the words "fairway", "green in regulation" or "par". Kent is still trying to drive the 17th green with his 3-wood. "I know that I can do it if the wind is with me," he claims.
Brad Smallwood (11.1)
Brad is known around Willow Oaks as "Mr. Consistent." He consistently talks about a good golf game but rarely displays one. "I'm consistent on the range," insists Brad. "I haven't hit one onto Forest Hills Avenue yet!"
Marty Donlan (12.3)
A great believer in the motto "better golf through technology" Marty has upgraded this season to a Taylor Made Bubble Shaft. The result: Marty doesn't just hit it into the trees, he hits it way into the trees. "I don't care where it goes," says Marty, "as long as it goes a long way."
Langdon Moss (12.7)
Moss was once again a controversial choice for the Willow Oaks' side given his sordid record in River Cup competition. A strong showing in this year's Club Championship (no 10's on his card) sealed his selection as a Captain's Choice. Curtis Strange has supported Moss' selection. "Hey, if Lanny could pick me, Moss was a no-brainer for the Willow Oaks' Selection Committee."
Chuck Byrd (15.3)
Chuck was a hostile witness this summer for King Cobra in it's patent infringement suit against King Snake, the popular Cobra knock-offs. Chuck, who signed a lucrative endorsement contract with King Snake earlier this year, has been hitting them out of sight all summer long. Unfortunately, "out of sight" has generally meant "lost ball".
Joby Klotz (18.3)
This grizzled River Cup veteran is well known for his refusal to quit. Lord knows the Willow Oaks River Cup Selection Committee has tried to make him, but he refuses.
Stanley Ford (23.5)
As President of Willow Oaks, Stanley has already played a pivotal role in this year's competition. He told the River Cup Committee in no uncertain terms that unless he was invited to play, there would be no matches at Willow Oaks. The Committee welcomes Stanley to this year's event.